First Person Shooter
Season 7, Ep. 13


Quick Take
Scully kicks some virtual reality ass, bascially, to save Mulder's ass.

Rating
Snark's Cerulean Blue rating scale gives First Person Shooter
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6 dots out of ten. Click here for scale explanation.

Transcript
For a complete transcript for First Person Shooter, please visit Tiny Dancer's site.

Pictures
For a few pictures from this episode, click here.

Snark's Thoughts
If you want to skip the plot synopsis and head right to my thoughts
on this episode, click here.

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Synopsis


{Note: This episode, which I will shorten to FPS in most places, definitely needs to be seen to be appreciated. The look and feel of the virtual reality environment, Jade Blue Afterglow, Maitreya, all of it—you need to see it.}

First Person Shooter opens in a flashy chamber of some sort. Three guys, called Lo-Fat, Retro and Moxie, are dressed in virtual-reality combat gear, complete with big weaponry and such. They are obviously about to be 'released' into the gamespace and they are all pumped up at the thought of blasting the bad guys. Camera cuts up to a control booth of some sort, where we see two other people monitoring the three guys—a girl named Phoebe and a guy named Ivan. [I will insert here the very apt comment from CarriK's transcript: "Ivan is a very tense, easily excitable young man. Very similar in temperament to the Tweek Coffee kid from South Park."] They comment on the heart rates on the three guys, Phoebe saying they need to let the guys out there or they'll kill each other.

Back down in the chamber, we see the doors slide up and the three run out into the gamespace, crouching behind a low wall in front of them. The gamespace at this point is like a city street, sort of—tall buildings on either side with an open street area stretching away from them. We hear the sound of engines, and then a group of crotch-rocket style motorcycles come whipping down the street from the far end. The three stand up and start firing away—as their shots land, the motorcycles 'flash' out of existence. The three guys then run down the street, shooting into the windows and such as they go. From inside the building, we see the programmed bad guys firing down at them. Lo-Fat gets hit and goes down in a heap of yellow paint and electrical jolts. Retro runs across to a building entrance and goes inside, descending into a concrete area almost like a parking garage. He's looking around, finally hearing some footsteps coming down after him. He calls out "Moxie?" but it is obviously not Moxie.

It is a woman, a woman dressed in... in... in not a whole lot of anything. Leather bodysuit that's not much more than the thong, spike-heeled thigh high boots, long black hair pulled back, exceptionally beautiful, etc. Retro is in awe, dropping his gun down and kneeling before her, obviously thinking she is somehow part of the game. She holds out her hand and he kisses it, asking who she is. "I am Maitreya, and this is my game," she says. Her hand morphs into a flintlock pistol, pointed right at Retro. She fires the gun and the screen 'snows' out and blurs, like a transmission going dead...

{Cut to X-Files opening sequence.}

FPS Corporate Headquarters, Inland Empire, California. We see Mulder and Scully enter into the main lobby area of First Person Shooter, going through metal detectors and such. At the guard desk, they have to give retinal scans and sign waivers—Scully comments that it is easier to get into the Pentagon than this place. Mulder is intrigued by the little retinal scan device, claiming it to be "cool."

The Lone Gunmen appear, Langly getting a good quote: "Welcome to the land where silicone meets silicon." They are cheerful at first, trying to get Scully pumped up about the digital entertainment rocket they are on, whatever whatever. She's not buying it, and they finally admit there's been a little accident. Cut to all of them walking through the halls of FPS, and we learn that the Gunmen were hired as consultants to FPS and that the company has its IPO in a week. The game is about to ship to 50 malls across the world. "Only there's a dead body between you and untold riches," Scully says.

Cut to them in the gamespace area, where Retro is lying under a sheet of bubblewrap. Scully lifts the sheet, saying that this man has been shot. Ivan and Phoebe are there as well now, and Ivan says that's not possible. He explains that the whole game is virtual, that the guns in the game run off the mainframe but are not real. He points out that the suits the players wear simulate everything that happens, with paint explosions and such for wounds and kill shots. But none of it is real, it all happens within the gamespace. Scully says she's going to call the cops, and Ivan gets upset with the Gunmen, saying that they told him there'd be no cops, whatever. Ivan is obviously worried about the IPO on Friday, leaving the room.

Except for Scully, they go up to the control room, where Phoebe shows them the replay of the game. She points out that everything seems to be fine, Retro's vitals are fine, and then they spike as if he's been shot. On the video playback, the game blanks out in the gamespace [the virtual environment disappears and we see only the real room] and we see Retro lying on the floor as Moxie comes running over to him, yelling for help. Langly says that they have no visual on the interior gamespaces, which is where Retro was shot. Mulder, showing he knows something about all this, asks about the wireframe. Phoebe says maybe, and taps away at the computer, stripping the display down to the wireframe image.

On the screen, we see a figure lying on the floor as another figure, obviously female, is standing nearby, pointing a gun. [All in wireframe view—if that means nothing to you, don't sweat it.] Mulder asks for Phoebe to texture-wrap the image, and the wireframe is slowly replaced by a more regular-image as the computer extrapolates the real look of the environment. When Maitreya has been formed completely on the screen, Mulder gets a printout of her. The Gunmen and Mulder leave, and Phoebe stares at the screen. "Goddess," she says, obviously knowing who the character in the game is.

Down at the lobby, we see Scully talking to the police chief, who is rather disbelieving of the fact that she has no murder weapon, no motive, no suspect, just the dead body. Mulder and the Gunmen come up, and Mulder hands the guy the printout, saying this is the suspect. The detective is not impressed, but takes the picture and leaves. Scully tells Mulder he's nuts, basically, that this image is straight out of a thousand video games and their vixenish heroines. Mulder points out that she was never programmed into this game, but here she is.

An young Asian man enters the lobby with a couple other guys and pass by the group. The Gunmen and Mulder are all awed—"Daryl Musashi. You see who that is? Daryl Musashi," Langly says. Scully asks who Daryl Musashi is, and we find that he's some super-cool virtual reality guy. "Word is that he slums as a game designer when he's not contracted to the CIA. The boy wonder of virtual mayhem," Byers says in full worship mode. The Gunman leave to follow their hero. Scully, not impressed, says "Mulder, why does this game have the effect of reducing grown men back to moony adolescence?" as she watches the Gunmen leave. Mulder gets a *great* reaction scene here, staring at her for just a second before breaking into a 'moony adolescent' as he says "But that's Daryl Musashi!" He goes off to follow the others while Scully leaves to autopsy Retro.

Up in the control room, we see everyone looking on as Daryl enters the gamespace in full combat mode. He is the epitome of calm, mowing down the motorcycles without his heart rate escalating one bit. He then runs over to the same building Retro went in, going down into the same parking-garage type place. The camera follows him and we see someone come up behind him. Just as he spins around, Maitreya swings a sword down at him, slicing his hands off. Daryl is now screaming in agony, and all of this is showing up in the control room too. Everyone is horrified. Maitreya whispers a line in Japanese [translates to "Forgive me for what I am about to do"] and then swings the sword at Daryl's head.

{Cut to first commercial break.}

Autopsy bay, where Scully is looking over Retro's body. Very funny scene where she's speaking into her little recorder, repeatedly saying "Scratch that" and saying something new. Her final comment is "Wound is result of high-velocity impact from an unknown object, which even if it did enter the body left no damn trace evidence whatsoever... no powder burns, no chemical signatures of any kind of explosive propellant." She is obviously frustrated.

Mulder comes in and Scully shows him how she thought perhaps the game vest had malfunctioned, since it is designed to give a 'wounded or killed' player electrical shocks to keep him down. Mulder picks up the vest, holding it up to his chest, saying "I've got a birthday coming up." [Very cute.] He says that Scully has to admit this is an amazing piece of technology. "Yeah, wasted on a stupid game," Scully says. "Dressing up like high-tech warriors to play a futuristic version of Cowboys and Indians? What kind of moron gets his ya-yas out like that?"

*Excellent* shot of Mulder here, as he grins a huge grin and spreads his arms wide in a "Me!" gesture. Scully smiles very slightly. [Very cute scene.] They talk about testosterone frenzy and cultural repression and whatever for a while. "Well, that must be why men feel the great need to blast the crap out of stuff," Scully says. Mulder points out that their only suspect so far in this case is a woman carrying a flintlock pistol, holding out another printout. "Pictures don't kill people, Mulder, guns kill people," Scully says. At this point, another gurney is wheeled into the bay, as Mulder says "As do swords." Scully looks under the sheet to see Daryl Musashi's body, his severed head placed between his legs. Mulder gets a call, telling Scully that the police just picked up a suspect that matches the picture.

{Next scene must *definitely* be seen to be appreciated.}

Mulder and Scully arrive at the police station, where about 20 officers are lined up outside a holding room, all struggling to get a look inside. The chief comes out of the room, biting his knuckles in the that junior-high fashion. The other officers cheer and laugh. He tells Mulder and Scully that they picked this woman up outside of a strip club in Reseda, matching their description perfectly. Scully asks if the woman was read her rights, and the chief says "About 500 times."

Mulder and Scully go into the room, Mulder turning back to the officers as he closes the door, giving them the same knuckle-bite motion. They again laugh. In the room, we see a woman who is obviously the same as Maitreya, dressed in a very, very short metallic mini-skirt and top combination, lots of chains. We learn that she is Jade Blue Afterglow, and when Scully asks her what her *real* name is, we get a great quote: "That is my real name. What were you expecting? Mildred?"

We get a Basic Instinct legs-uncrossing-then-crossing scene, very funny. Jade claims no knowledge of FPS or of the game or of why she has been placed at the crime scene. Scully tells her she might want to start telling the truth. When Jade asks what truth that is, Mulder says "That you murdered two men. One with a 14th century broadsword and the other with a flintlock pistol." Great Jade quote: "Oh. You must have had me confused with my sister—Xena, Warrior Princess."

When Mulder shows her the picture, Jade says she understands now, that a company paid her to let a medical imaging place do a body scan. "They paid you to scan your body?" Scully asks. Another killer Jade quote: "You think that's the strangest thing I've been paid to do?" [I was rolling at this point.] Jade gets up and grabs her coat from the wall, Mulder sitting down in the chair she just left. As Jade walks out from the room and down the hall, Mulder leans over in his chair to watch her go. Very funny scene as Scully slowly leans into his line of sight, blocking his view as he strains to keep an eye on Jade. Mulder finally sits back up, saying "I don't know about you, Scully, but I am feeling the great need to blast the crap out of something." Scully smiles. [*Very* cute scene there.]

Mulder and Scully go back to FPS headquarters, and find Phoebe up in the control room. She says the Lone Gunmen are out in the gamespace, testing a software patch to the game. When they first look at the screen, the Gunmen are just in the regular room—the game has not been started. But as Mulder and Scully watch, the image switches to show that the game has started up. The Gunmen start freaking, as does Phoebe, since the game is starting up by itself, not from her control. Down in the game, we see shots being fired at the Gunmen, and they run for cover. Mulder pronounces they need help, and leaves the room.

Cut to Mulder now in the entrance chamber a bit later, fully outfitted in the combat gear. Looks like he's got it strapped on over his dress pants, but no idea on where he got the shirt or sunglasses. "Bring it on," he says, as the door opens. He runs out into the gamespace, where we see the Gunmen huddled behind a low wall. Byers has been hit, but is OK. Mulder gives cover fire while the Gunmen get back into the chamber, but then he runs off to go find Maitreya.

He goes into the same area as the others have before him. Maitreya is there, waiting for him, swinging her broadsword. Mulder tells her to put the sword down. *Very* cool special effect here, as she swings a slow circle with the sword in front of her—as the sword spins, her body disappears behind it. She then reappears behind Mulder, and he begins shooting at her. At this point, we cut back to the Gunmen, who begin to run out of the chamber and help Mulder. Just as they do, though, the environment 'digitizes' and then fades to just the plain room. A few moments later, Scully comes bursting into the area, asking "Where's Mulder?" but he's nowhere to be seen.

{Cut to second commercial break.}

Same scene. Scully again asks the Gunmen where Mulder is, but they have no idea, saying that he just took off into the building. "I saw where he went. I want to know where he *is*," Scully says. Byers says this is impossible, that it is just a digital environment and that no one can disappear. Phoebe comes in at this point, and says she found Mulder. We go back up to the control room, where she points to a monitor listing the players in the game. "There... player four. It's his telemetry," she points out. "He's still in the game," Langly says. "Yes, but where's the game?" Scully asks.

Cut to inside the game, where we see Mulder get up from the floor. The broadsword has been embedded into a concrete pylon next to him. [Cool shot.] He runs out into the main gamespace, heading back over to the entrance chamber. Maitreya appears at the end of the street, then begins back-flipping towards him. Mulder is shooting at her, but she disappears as she flips right over him.

Back up in the control room, the Gunmen are working on rerouting the circuitry to make a kill switch. [I always that that was the 'Off' switch, but what do I know.] At this point, Tweek... I mean, Ivan comes back into the room. He's been talking to the money people, and he's all happy. He tells Scully that she saved his ass, that the money guys were just thrilled to see that the FBI was involved. [This makes little sense to me, but whatever.] "You fixed our problems. The game's going to ship and we're going to be counting Franklins," he says. In my favorite Scully quote of the night: "Yeah, and you're going to be counting teeth," she says as she advances on him. The Gunmen have to stop her from knocking the guy on his ass. Scully asks him about Jade Blue Afterglow, but he doesn't recognize the name. As Scully sees Phoebe leave the room suddenly, she put it together that it was Phoebe's creation.

We get a big, long, utterly worthless scene here between Scully and Phoebe, about the trials and tribulations of working with all men, and that Phoebe wanted to create someone that was everythign she could never be. Whatever. The important information is that Phoebe programmed Maitreya in another game entirely, one she was working on in secret, but that Maitreya somehow jumped programs.

In the game, we see Maitreya approaching Mulder, and he notices that he is out of ammunition. She begins kicking the shit out of him. Up in the control room, Scully comes back in and fills the guys in on what has happened. They guys point out that Mulder's vitals are getting all haywire, that he's maybe in trouble. Back down in the game, as Maitreya aims another kick for Mulder's head, we see his hands snap up and catch her foot, then drop her to the ground. Kind of a neat move, actually. Mulder takes the opportunity to run over to the building, and go down to get the broadsword. As he pulls it out, though, the gamespace changes to be a long Western-town street, complete with tumbleweeds and whatnot. Mulder glances around, as if to say "Couldn't they have spent an extra 50 bucks on the effects here instead of this awful blue-screen?"...

{Cut to third commercial break.}

In the control room, we see Langly get the computer to begin responding again, but for some reason he can't get it to shut down. Down in the game, we see Maitreya appear again, but this time, she's dressed as WesternBabe, with pistols and whatnot. Mulder sees her and raises his sword, telling her to stop right there. Maitreya draws the pistols. Very funny scene as Mulder drops the sword, saying "That's not really fair, is it?" as he looks at her. Maitreya shifts, and there are suddenly five of her standing there. "Well that's just cheating," Mulder says. He spins around as he hears the chamber door opening again...

To show *Scully* this time, fully outfitted in combat gear, holding a *huge* gun and ready to kick some ass. Mulder is just a little bit in awe, I think. Scully comes out and begins firing at the Maitreyas, as Mulder drops to the ground.

Scully blasts all the Maitreyas to nothingness, but up in the control room, Ivan and Phoebe are not cheering—"No one's ever beaten level two," they say. Down in the game, we see Mulder get up and run back to Scully, both running for the chamber as the doors begin to shut. They don't get there in time, but Mulder does manage to shove his sword [not that one, LOL] under the door to use as a prybar. Maitreyas begin appearing again, and Scully blasts them. Cut up to the control room, where a big scene over the existence of a kill command, one that will destroy the whole game. The Gunmen want Phoebe to give them the code, Ivan is telling her not to do it.

Down in the game, more Maitreyas appear, this time with tanks [what the hell?], yet Scully continues to kill them all. Yadda yadda, this goes on for a while, with some more scenes in the control room. Finally, Phoebe gives Frohike the command, Shift-Alt-bloodbath, and he types it in. The game digitizes and then goes blank. They run down to the gamespace, but the room is completely empty. After a bit, Phoebe runs over to the chamber thing at the end of the room, the one physical part of the game. They all lean over to heave the door open...

And find a very exhausted Mulder and Scully lying on the floor of the chamber. Scully particularly is looking a bit messed up. But they are all OK. Mulder quips "Now that's entertainment!" as the Gunmen help them both up. Very cool super-hero slow motion shot as the whole group walks forward through the gamespace a bit, with a very stupid monologue from Mulder running over it. "We came, we saw, we conquered. And if the taste of victory is sweet, the taste of virtual victory is not Sweet 'N Low, nor the bullets made of sugar. Maybe past where the imagination ends our true natures lie, waiting to be confronted on their own terms. Out where the intellect is at war with the primitive brain in the hostile territory of the digital world where laws are silent and rules disappear in the midst of arms. Born in anarchy with an unquenchable bloodthirst, we shudder to think what might rise up from the darkness."

Cut back up to the control room, where every screen is dark and the computers are all shut down. Ivan is there, with his head on his desk, very depressed. The monitors suddenly come on again, and we see the game loading up again, with "Data Acquisition." Ivan lifts his head to see a new character being created on the screen. It's still dressed like Maitreya, with the thong and the boots and the gun, but it is decidedly Scully standing there now. Shorter reddish hair, Scully features, etc. Ivan is overjoyed at this development, chuckling as we fade to closing credits.


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Snark's Thoughts


I know a lot of people out there got to the end of FPS and wondered "what the hell was that?!" and so on. I will admit freely that as an X-Files episode, this one didn't really make much sense or have much purpose.

But I didn't really care, considering how much sheer and utter fun I had watching this one. It was like watching a comic book come to life, complete with voluptuous vixens and doomsday machines and our superheros dressed all in black. It wasn't meant to be analyzed or sifted through or deconstructed for deeper meaning—this was entertainment, pure and simple.

There really wasn't a story here, per se—whatever minimal plot there was existed simply as the means to get large weaponry in Mulder and Scully's hands. So I won't bother talking about the story as a whole or on its lack of believeability and so on. Rather, I'll comment on specific scenes and so on, though again, this episode really must be seen to be appreciated.

The first scene I really enjoyed was where Daryl Musashi comes into the building. Watching the Gunmen and Mulder drop into worship-mode was very funny, and highly accurate. My husband gets nearly the same way at the mention of Arlen Ness or Boyd Coddington. [Names which will mean nothing to you if you aren't into custom motorcycles or street rods.] They were positively googly, and it was a hoot to watch.

The autopsy bay scene is probably the strongest of the episode, in terms of normal Mulder and Scully behavior. We get Scully pissed off at her lack of findings, or rather, her lack of ability to make sense of her findings. We get classic interplay between them as they discuss the testosterone frenzy and stupidity of games. So this scene is probably the only one in the episode I would rate as normal interaction.

But for pure fun, the next scene, with Jade Blue Afterglow in the holding cell, is by far my favorite from this episode. Her calm demeanor, her killer one-liners, the reaction of the men around her—god, it was hilarious. I especially loved Scully's obvious "I know exactly what you're thinking, FBI-boy" tactics, as she moved into his line of sigh and so on. Her smile at the end was perfect, and showed us just how much fun these two have together when given the chance.

The rest of the episode is really just about Mulder and Scully blasting the crap out of stuff, and while that was thoroughly enjoyable, I don't feel the need to comment on it particularly. One specific image I do want to mention again is the awesome special effect as Maitreya disappears behind the swinging blade. Very, very cool. The entire episode was made right there, in my opinion. That was just dang cool.

And of course, the end image of the digital vixen Scully. Some people were really pissed off about this, saying it was demeaning and worthless and whatnot. But to me, this was the icing on the cake. I interpreted it as Maitreya's way of acknowledging that she got her ass kicked by Scully. She saw and interacted with Scully, and then took the elements of Scully to improve herself. So it just worked for me.

So, what were things that I didn't like about this episode? Well, there were plenty, actually. The character of Phoebe just made *me* want to kick the crap out of something, preferably her. What an annoying, whiny little twerp, even more so that Ivan. At least Ivan knew what he wanted (money) and was out there trying to get it. The entire concept of the "aren't the evil men so bad and I feel so out of place, won't you all cry for me now" just irritates me to no end. Phoebe obviously had the skills and talent to be one of the main programmers for a cutting-edge technology, so get out there, use it, and stop whining about it. You don't like your coworkers? Get a new job, or form your own company, whatever.

I also didn't enjoy a large portion of the writing for this one. Certain scenes were wonderful, but the rest were fairly laughable. "Scully's in the zone!" probably ranks as the top of the worthless category, along with the 18 repetitions of "The bloodthirst is unquenchable." And Mulder's ending monologue was completely unforgiveable. An utter, utter waste of time and effort.

The Gunmen, though always enjoyable just for the sheer fun of seeing them on screen, were not too interesting here. It was as if they went "ooh, we have a virtual reality story, better get the Gunmen in here." They were fairly out of character, but I won't knock them on that, considering that the entire episode was out of character. But they just didn't seem to serve any real purpose, which is always kind of depressing.

In Summary, though, I thought FPS to be highly entertaining. Don't let the 6-dot fool you. In terms of lasting X-Files impression, no, this really isn't a great and wonderful episode. But it does have quite a bit of fun and entertainment built into it, and is definitely worth the view.

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Pictures


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The pictures shown here are courtesy of the Haven for the FBI's Most Unwanted.
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Holy bustline, Batman!


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Byers has a moment of silence as Frohike licks his lips for Langly.


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"I... said... coffee! Now!"
Tweek goes a little nuts for the java...


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My favorite goofy Mulder shot in quite some time.


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I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile.


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Mulder gets a firm grip on the length of his sword...



Scully, in an attempt to unseat Ron Popeil, unveils the Salad Shooter XKG.



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